The Saga of the Weed Tree

One day, a weed started to grow next to our house.  It was left to grow for a very very long time.  This weed grew for so long it became a tree: the weed tree.  It grew big and tall and eventually came to shelter the house’s chimney from the cold.  A short time after Mary and Andy moved in, their homeowner’s insurance carrier sent them a letter: the weed tree had gotten too dangerous.  You see, insurance companies are very very picky about what they will insure, and they happen to dislike flammable things (such as trees) being too close to things that could emit flames (such as chimneys).  So it came to be that Andy had his first encounter with the weed tree.

From afar, the weed tree looked innocent enough- like an ordinary deciduous tree.  But up close, Andy could tell that the weed tree was not that innocent- it was armored with mega death thorns. This is when Andy realized that the weed tree was a villain and he must be destroyed at once!  Andy hacked and hacked with his sword (actually, his sawz-all) until the weed tree rose no more- off to the green bin it went… or so Andythought.

The weed tree was very menacing though and started re-growing himself.  Every few weeks a new weed sprout would grow from where the weed tree once stood (now a weed tree stump).  For a while, Andy or Mary would pluck off the new sprouts.  Then one day Andy covered the weed tree stump with a few tons of cement chunks from the old sidewalk, but once the cement trunks were hauled off to the dump, the weed tree reared his ugly head, or sprouts, again.

This is when Andy knew he had to call in backup- from Timmy.  Andy and Timmy, the brothers whose parents once had a layover in Indiana, dug and hacked with their sawzall, pickax and shovels

They broke a shovel; Honey Brown expressed her dismay.

They brought out the car jack.

They borrowed a jack hammer from Kevin Sullivan.  Mary brought them lemonade.

They sweat, bled and cursed.  Then, finally it happened!  The weed tree was killed once and for all.  A giant void was left in its wake.

Andy an Timmy hoisted the carcass into the back of the Green Machine and hauled it to the dump. Hasta La Vista weed tree.

The end (or so we think).